Retired Heroes
by Mad to Talk
Summary: Living in a perfect world isn't always easy. Future-fic; eventual Sora/Roxas & other pairings
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Summary: Living in a perfect world isn't always easy. Eventual Sora/Roxas & other pairings

Sora was falling in darkness. There was only enough light to illuminate his body in the void, coming from no apparent source. He'd done this so many times now that there was no shock, only the thrill of weightlessness and what was to come. Below him, a stage colored like stained glass began to glow, gaining form out of nothingness.

The other dancers twirled and flipped into the stage, as other-worldly techno music began to play. He landed in the center with a flip, and then flew back into the air on his bungee cord, spiraling with the beat. Other acrobats appeared beside him in mid-air, and they began to bend their bodies into shapes that would awe the audience.

Sora was alive with the sound of music.

* * *

It had taken over six years to do it, but they had finally reached the Door to Light. The battles had been harsh, and the casualties along the way hadn't always left a body count. He and his friends had done it, opened the door from Kingdom Hearts the _right_ way, not forcing it and ruining everything. The voice that made no sound had told him, and finally he'd understood just how wrong everything Xehanort tried to do was.

_You are the one who will open the Door._

_Don't be afraid._

_Your heart is strong._

_You must let your heart be the pathway to Light._

Well, actually, he hadn't understood then. Riku and King Mickey had to explain it to him, but he understood _now_, and Riku didn't have to call him stupid like he did. Cryptic messages from the worlds aren't supposed to be easy to understand. Sora would have preferred simpler ones.

_Step One: Point Keyblade at shiny door._

_Step Two: Make sure your heart is filled with good emotions, because we're getting ready to shoot a giant laser beam through your chest and you might get it dirty._

_Step Three: Unlock door._

_Step Four: ?? (Sora didn't remember this part very well. He'd passed out from the laser beam.)_

_Step Five: Be happy as all of the worlds are re-united and people you care about (and some you killed) are brought back to life. Don't get too confused if you wake up in some place called Duckburg with Roxas in his own body and have to figure out how to call Collect to find your friends. (Also, don't ask if they give out free snacks when that creepy dude asks you to join the Mile High Club on the flight home.)_

* * *

They'd arrived at Destiny Islands, and everyone had been there. The Riku, Kairi, Naminé, King Mickey, Jiminy, Donald, and Goofy everyone, that is. Lots of other friends, Roxas's friends, weren't there.

Roxas was okay, though. The force that had always been pulling him toward Sora when he'd been in the Organization was gone now. A connection remained, but it wasn't manic, razor-sharp, tearing at numbness. The tie felt human, not like some monster from the darkness. Sora knew Roxas was okay, and he knew Roxas's friends were okay. Somewhere, Axel was okay. He didn't know where exactly, but he was sure his logic was better than Riku's (or even Roxas's), who would point out some gap in his argument.

_Roxas is part of me._

_Roxas wants Axel to be okay._

_That laser beam went through my heart, so everything became like what I wanted it to be, mostly._

_Axel is okay somewhere._

Sora wasn't too worried about where, and Roxas trusted him. He was sure they'd find him somehow, or he'd find them. The worlds were merging together really well. Roxas was the only one on their flight who was bothered to find out that Chip and Dale were the pilots. He'd hit Sora over the head with a server's tray and dragged him back to their seats when Chip had offered to let Sora take the controls.

After telling them that they should try to let their lives return to normal, King Mickey took Donald and Goofy and Jiminy in search of Disney Castle. They promised to visit again soon. Everything was going to be okay for the first time since he was 14.

* * *

His parents were a little weird. He'd forgotten he had them, and he hadn't stayed long enough the last time to meet them. Naminé had apologized for the memory part. "DiZ had me on a tight schedule. I may have forgotten to put some things back."

She'd told them all not to worry, and she'd gotten Kairi to take her to the library to check out some self-help books. It only took her a few days to straighten everyone and their parents out, and she was happy about her new box of over one-hundred crayons.

"It's simple, really. It's like I'm giving you instant therapy sessions as I put your memories back."

Riku had objected to having his mind tampered with again. Roxas had made it clear that he didn't want Sora's parents to think that he was their other son. Kairi smiled and said, "I know you'll do your best." Sora was grateful that he hadn't had to read any of the self-help books himself. After the first few evil plots to re-arrange your memories, you learn not to stress about having your brain scrambled—especially when it's by a friend.

After a few weeks, they'd all stopped saying things like, "Share your feelings with me," and, "I am here for you in your time of emotional crisis," in response to everything. This was almost, sort-of normalcy, and it was the best they could hope for after all of their weird journeys.

There were three things to do.

The first was to rest. He did that by spending time with Riku, Kairi, Naminé, and Roxas on the beach and on their play island. Roxas learned how to play blitz ball.

The second was to check on their friends. They called airports and eventually found Chip and Dale, who flew them around in one of Scrooge's new jets. Everyone was starting to see the impact of the worlds being together as one world again. Riku said complicated things about relations between different cultures. Roxas found Axel, called him an idiot, hit him with a keyblade, and spent a few hours being happy without reservation for the first time in his new life, which was something he'd never done in his not-life.

The third was to adjust to life on the islands again.

There were problems with starting high school when you're 20. One was that they don't let 20-year-olds enroll. Riku was taking a test so that he could get his diploma and go on to study at an university, because even now he wanted off the islands, but Sora didn't think he could do the same. He'd looked at the practice questions and realized that he didn't remember what algebra was, let alone what to do with the little _x_'s. He didn't think casting spells to create bolts of lightning and whacking things with your keyblade were part of the curriculum.

His dad had suggested he try getting a job while he figured out what he wanted to do. His mom had told to check the internet, when the newspaper hadn't turned up anything. He didn't get far on the computer without Tron's help, until Roxas showed him what he knew from hanging out with Pence.

The website told him he could fill out a survey, and they'd match him with employers.

It matched him with some kind of circus.

* * *

Backstage, Sora maneuvered through the crowd, high on endorphins. He chatted with the other performers as he removed his make-up, and he was wiping off his lips when Axel came in, carrying a white cardboard box.

"You're the worst stage-hand ever," Sora said cheerfully. "Aren't you supposed to be working?"

"Is that any way to talk to the man who brought you a jelly doughnut?" Axel opened the box, holding it forward like a courtier presenting a gift to his unattainable love.

If Sora had been a fair maiden, then his maidenhood would have been won. Wearing a look a wide-eyed ecstasy, he reached out, lovingly selected one of the dozen jelly-filled treats, and brought it to his mouth for the first bite. He would thank Axel after he'd eaten the first six.

"Sora, no!"

Something flew through the air, impacting with his doughnut and knocking it out of his hand. Sora dove for it, his mouth forming a silent, "No!" but in an instant, both he and his tasty treat were face-down on the floor. The raspberry jelly had squirted out onto Axel's boot.

Sora raised his head and found himself eye-to-eye with an irate cricket who was standing beside his ruined doughnut.

"You can't ruin your diet. What will the producer say if he walks in and sees you eating that?"

"I was only going to have a taste." He tried to look innocent in the face of Jiminy's displeasure.

"Am I going to have to become your conscience, too?" Jiminy was his agent, and he always had to make sure he got to places on time and followed directions. Sora pushed himself up off the floor and decided he shouldn't bother asking about the five second rule.

Axel had set down the box of doughnuts and grabbed a feathery headdress to wipe off his shoe. He sounded cranky when he said, "I could step on him for you, if you want." He directed an irritated look at Jiminy. "Roxas told me to take care of you while he's off doing his skateboarding gig. It's my duty to protect you from flying bugs."

Jiminy hopped off the floor onto Sora's shoulder and shook his fist at Axel. "I'm looking out for Sora's best interests. He likes this job, and I'm making sure he keeps it."

Sora didn't _have_ to work, exactly. Jiminy had published the journals of their adventures, and he, Donald, and Goofy got some of the royalties. He wasn't rich like Donald's uncle, but the journals were bestsellers. There wasn't much need for a keyblade master while the world was at peace, but everyone liked to know how it happened and to meet the people who did it. Jiminy kept track of Sora's money, arranged book signings, scheduled his appearances, and he still had time to run a talent agency and a charity foundation for the promotion of consciences.

Axel had gotten a job at WPD Circus three months ago, right after Roxas left to go on his professional skateboarding tour. Before that he'd done… _things_. He never gave anyone a straight answer about that. He might have given Roxas one, but they'd had an argument over something last year, and Roxas didn't like to talk about it. Axel had started spending as much time as he could around Sora since then, and that was probably why he'd applied for the stage-hand job. He'd been annoyed when he found out he'd be helping with Dumbo's act, not working with the acrobats.

"It's okay, Axel. Jiminy's right. I have to be able to fit into these costumes," Sora said, his voice becoming mournful as his eyes rested on the half-opened box.

Axel took a moment to appreciate the form-fitting lycra bodysuit, and he smirked when he saw that Sora was still lusting after his doughnuts. He decided to press his luck. "So, where to now, dance-boy? Tomorrow's your day off. Feel like a night out on the town?"

Jiminy had hopped over to the make-up table, and Sora was in the process of peeling off the bodysuit. Changing clothes while people moved around you was part of the job, and Sora wasn't self-conscious. Everyone here was a professional; they wouldn't be paying attention to him while he was naked.

"I can't. I'm supposed to hang out with Kairi tomorrow, and she told me she'd kill me if I didn't get up before noon."

He finished the contortions that allowed him to quickly remove his costume while standing and started looking around for his underwear.

"Too bad. I could still walk you home."

Sora was now wearing boxers and bent over, scattering clothes from in search of what he wanted. He twisted into an unlikely position to look at Axel while replying.

"Sure. We can't stay up late watching movies or anything, though. Kairi really will kill me."

Axel's expression changed for a split-second, too fast to read, and then he recovered his grin. "Hey, don't assume that just because you don't have big plans for tonight, I haven't got any."

Sora's only reply was, "Right," along with a smile without pretext. He dressed quickly, while Axel examined a costume that could best be described as what you'd get if you mated a cat with a peacock and dipped the baby in glitter, or maybe what you'd get if you mated Marluxia with a water buffalo. Axel couldn't decide.

Sora was ready to go, so Axel moved to pick up the box. Before he could get to it, Jiminy, who had been mumbling into what had to be the world's tiniest cell phone, jumped onto the lid and said sternly, "You can leave here with Sora or with the doughnuts, but one stays."

Axel was ready to flick him off the cricket off and take what was going to be his dinner, but the look on Sora's face suggested that his pastry lust wouldn't cause him to overlook assault on one of his friends, so he settled for saying, "Man, have you ever got a twig up your ass." He put his arm around Sora's shoulders and guided him to the back exit, speaking just loud enough that he knew everyone could hear him. "We've really got to talk about getting you a new agent."

* * *

Sora was sitting at the kitchen table in his apartment, picking at a salad with fat free dressing. He'd hoped that Axel would stay for a little while, even though he said he had plans, but he'd run off somewhere as soon as Sora had opened the door. It felt empty with Roxas having been gone for so long. This was the longest they'd been separated since the _first_ time they'd been separated, and Sora had slept through most of that. It had made sense for them to be roommates.

Everyone was busy now, including him, and he'd gotten used to always having someone with him.

He got up, dumped his salad in the garbage, and dropped the bowl and silverware in the sink. He went over to the refrigerator and opened the freezer door. What Jiminy didn't know wouldn't hurt him, so he pulled out the package of sea-salt ice cream, grinning at the picture of Roxas on his skateboard on the outside, and pulled out a bar. He put the package back in the freezer and headed to the living room.

Kicking clothes, magazines, armor, and empty potion bottles out of the way, he made his way to the couch and sat down. He pulled off wrapper and put the ice cream bar in his mouth, tossing the paper aside, and grabbed his laptop from the coffee table, moving it to his lap. A bit of melted ice cream was starting to run past his lips, so he twisted his face as he opened raised the monitor and hit the power button.

A bunch of text that he'd never bothered to understand ran across the screen, and in a few seconds it was all wiped away and replaced with, "Friends OS." That too faded to be replaced with a familiar figure.

"Hello, Sora."

"Hey, Tron." Sora shifted so that he was lying across the couch, the computer positioned in his lap so that he was looking directly at the screen. He slurped on the ice cream, enjoying every forbidden calorie. "How was your day?"

"My day was good. I have processed approximately 789.6 terabytes of data on the 6,482,532 systems that currently run my software." Sora knew that was a little more than yesterday, even thought he didn't know exactly what it meant.

"That's great. I did three shows tonight, and the choreographer complimented my mid-air flips again."

Tron smiled more brightly. "Do you want me to check your e-mail?" he asked, pointing to an envelope-shaped icon that appeared beside him.

"Let's do it," Sora replied, hopeful.

Text scrolled by behind Tron quickly, and he was done an instant after he started. "You have 841 New Messages. I've run the usual filters and taken appropriate action. 54 have been identified as unwanted advertisements, and their subdomains have been blocked. I don't think you'll be needing any 100 fairy magic penis enhancements."

That elicited a chuckle from Sora, who was almost finished with his sea-salt ice cream. It had been cures for erectile dysfunction from Mount Olympus yesterday.

"78 are appearance or publicity requests, and they have been forwarded to Jiminy. 706 are from fans who have found your personal e-mail address. I've run a more detailed analysis to categorize them. 592 of them have been sent the appropriate standard response, with appropriate modifications made. One has been forwarded to the police as a formality."

"_Tron_…" This wasn't the first e-mail like that, and Sora didn't like sending them to someone else to deal with. He could take care of himself.

"I included the reminder that you aren't requesting an investigation, but they need to have these on record. I've had them analyzed by psychological profiling software, and the results are disturbing. A crazed fan needs to be arrested, not taken down with a keyblade."

Sora could have argued with that, but he wouldn't get anywhere. He hadn't found a way to alter Tron's programming so that he wouldn't get so hung up on logic. He'd figure it out eventually, but for now he had to move on. He wasn't irritated when he asked, "What else is there?"

"113 meet your criteria for a personal reply; I've saved those for later. Most importantly, you have three new personal e-mails in your personal e-mail account." That last was said with a touch of humor that Sora appreciated.

"Who are they from?"

"Kairi, Leon, and Riku."

Sora was disappointed for a moment, because he'd been hoping for an e-mail from one of his friends outside of Radiant Garden. He liked it best when they e-mailed him first, because then he knew they were thinking about him. He tried to e-mail all of them first too, because if he liked it when they e-mailed him first, then they'd probably like it if he e-mailed them first, and he wanted them to know that he was thinking about them. He was still waiting for a few replies.

He pushed his disappointment away and tossed the ice cream bar stick into the floor. He liked getting e-mail from Kairi and Riku, and Leon _never_ used his e-mail, so getting an e-mail from him was really good. "Let's read Kairi's first. She's going to be reminding me about tomorrow, because she always thinks I'll forget."

Sora,

Don't forget, we're spending the day together tomorrow! No excuses!

There's one party in the morning, but I'll be done by ten. I'll come by your apartment, and you better be awake!

Love,

Kairi

"See, I knew it." She still worried if they were separated for too long. Toward the end, it seemed like she could run harder than he and Riku. She said, "I never want to lose sight of either of you again," so often that Sora thought she believed that if she repeated it enough, she wouldn't. If a few days passed when they didn't see each other, she'd show up somewhere she knew Sora would be just long enough to make sure she hadn't lost him.

She'd moved on with her life, too—in a way. After tying to find volunteer work somewhere, she discovered that the kind of help she wanted to give wasn't the kind anyone needed anymore; the Door to Light had fixed that. She ran into an ex-Nobody Sora supposedly defeated (Axel said so, and so did Naminé), and they teamed up somehow, and then an ex-Nobody Sora _did_ remember got involved, and they had the most popular fast food restaurant in Radiant Garden. That was saying something, since Radiant Garden was the largest city anywhere now.

She was the princess at Princess Burgers, and she did children's birthday parties. She party games and decorated cakes, and when she put on her fake tiara, it really felt like she was some special kind of royalty, even if it was plastic.

He typed a reply.

Kairi I didn't forget :P

-Sora

"Should I send it?" Tron asked. He'd learned not to try to run a grammar check, because Sora always changed it back.

"It's ready. I'll see her tomorrow, so she won't mind if it's short."

"Confirmed. Message is sent."

Leon's message opened next.

There's a party at Merlin's two weeks from today. You should come. 9 p.m.

That reply was simple.

I wouldn't miss it.

You should e-mail more often.

-Sora

That was sent, and then it was Riku's e-mail.

Sora,

You loser. I don't say I win our arguments because I use bigger words than you do. I win them because I'm _right_.

If you're going to whine about being bored, then you should do something other than dance in the circus and watch Roxas's skateboarding competitions on tv. Try paying attention to the news. These stories are actually interesting.

Without lots of syllables this time,

Riku

He'd included some links at the bottom of the message.

"Do you want me to open the articles?" Tron asked.

"What are they about?" Sora made a face. Riku was studying _philosophy_, and he always tried to make Sora read things that might be interesting if you translated them into a language other than Saying Things So That People Know I've Read The Dictionary Backward Three Times.

"The first two are editorials on consumerism and monoculturalism in a post-unification society. They take a critical position on the pan-governmental movement and express skepticism in regard to their recent regional identity preservation mandate."

Sora paused for several seconds to consider this. He then said, with great profundity, "_What?_"

Tron chuckled and asked, "Do you really want me to explain it?"

Realizing that he'd be better off knowing as little as possible so that Riku couldn't try to discuss it with him, he let it pass. "What are the other articles about?"

"Most of them are short, detailing minor crimes. The last one, however, is about several kidnappings that have occurred within the past month. No ransom demands have been made, but the police have issued a statement saying that they have reason to believe that the victims are alive and being treated reasonably well. It also says that they believe they have the situation under control and will locate the kidnapper and his hostages any day now."

Evil wasn't supposed to happen anymore, and kidnapping lots of people sounded a lot like evil. Sora started to tell Tron to open the kidnapping article, but he stopped himself and began writing a reply instead.

Riku

Don't send me articles about bad things happening if you only want to talk about them but not DO anything. You and King Mickey gave me enough lectures about keyblade bearers not getting involved in stuff that doesn't involve the safety of the worlds. I got too many bruises when you all chased me down because I started trying to find a purse-snatcher. I don't want to hear "It's not for you to meddle in Sora" right after you tell me how important it is.

You do too try to win by using words that are so long that anyone who isn't majoring in BORING will fall asleep before you can pronounce them all.

Are we still on for the blitz ball game?

-Sora

He didn't like it when he had to think about things he didn't like but which were still right. The keyblade really does bring a lot of chaos with it, or maybe it always picks people who bring chaos with them. Either way, he'd learned that he could do more harm than good the hard way. Keyblade bearers only get involved when any chaos they cause can't possibly be worse than what's already going on.

"He uses MicroSark," Tron commiserated. Sora didn't understand a lot about computers, but he understood what Sark's operating system was like. It was more popular than Friends OS, and Tron sometimes complained about it. Sora knew the comment meant, "He means well, even if he is a complete doofus."

"Send it. Let's go to the others."

The others were the e-mails from "fans" that he wanted to answer himself, with a _real_ answer. They were the ones from kids who wanted to be heroes or from people who had lost loved ones to the Heartless.

When they'd first started coming in, as real letters, he'd answered them out of guilt and filled his replies with apologies. He'd been so exhausted when they finally got to the Door, because healing spells and potions can take care of your body but not your mind, that he hadn't been able to remember everything that he needed to feel. It had been his one chance to set it all right, given to him by the worlds the one time they could do it, and he hadn't remembered the innocent victims. The members of the Organization were back, made into real people, and so many others—but none of them had been the helpless ones. They were the ones influenced by the Heartless, mostly the ones that Sora and his friends had defeated. Riku thought that maybe the worlds couldn't do anything for the victims because they weren't part of it, just "collateral damage."

The apologies were selfish. He'd stopped them after a few months. They needed to say something to the person they thought was their hero, and he owed it to them to try to act like the person they thought he was. Guilt got in the way of things he needed to do, so he got rid of it.

The kids were important because there was no guarantee that something else wouldn't happen in the future, and he could maybe tell things he wished he'd known to some of the ones who would end up dealing with it. Writing to them made him happy. He could still make a difference because they would make a difference.

Sometimes it took a week or two for one of these e-mails to get a reply, because he got so many of them. A lot of them kept writing back for a while. The computer screen said he had 582 that he hadn't read. He'd try to get a hundred or so done tonight.

* * *

Sora awoke to the banging and yelling, too dazed to determine the source. He was on his couch, covered in sea salt ice cream bar wrappers. He'd set the laptop back on the table at some point. He hadn't set his alarm clock, because his alarm clock was in his bedroom.

He looked at the digital clock above the tv, saw that it read 2:34 _PM_, and immediately entered his, "Oh shit I am late and something bad is going to happen," mode. He launched himself from the sofa, jostling the table as he stood, and finally processed the noise that was being made. It was Kairi at his door.

"SORA, OPEN UP RIGHT NOW! CAN YOU HEAR ME? ALL OF YOUR NEIGHBORS CAN BECAUSE THEY'RE STANDING OUT IN THE HALL LOOKING AT ME, AND I FORGOT MY PURSE, SO I DON'T HAVE MY KEY, AND HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY SLEEP THIS LATE? YOU'VE GOT TO OPEN UP NOW!"

Her monologue was accompanied by lots of banging that would probably break down his door soon. He tried to run to the door as he pulled a wrapper off his face, but he nearly tripped over household debris after a few steps. Only his acrobatic balance saved him, allowing him to turn his near-fall into a teetering mad dash for the entrance. Behind him, Tron was saying, "Sorry, Sora. I idled."

He slammed into the door and grasped for the deadbolt, releasing it, and then twisted at the lock on the knob. He started to yell out an apology as he slung open the door, but Kairi didn't notice in time to avoid slamming a surprisingly sturdy toy scepter into his chest with more force than someone her size should have been able to produce. It knocked him back into the apartment, as he let out something between a squawk and an unmanly howl. He landed on his ass, and it felt like she'd cracked a few of his ribs.

He looked up at her through his grimace; she was standing in the doorway, apparently frozen in shock from actually getting in. She was wearing her full princess ensemble, tacky dress and all. Quite a few strands of hair had come loose from where she'd pulled it back under the plastic tiara, and her make-up was smudged. He didn't want to focus on the psychotic look in her eyes, and frazzled didn't even come close to describing her overall appearance. She looked like the Queen of Hearts when she was angry, only more attractive and a lot scarier.

It only took her a second to recover, and Sora had to stop himself from reflexively casting a barrier spell for protection. She was through the entrance and had kicked the door shut in an instant, possibly to prevent his neighbors from witnessing the imminent homicide. Then she was on top of him, smacking his chest, which really _hurt_, and it sounded like she was almost ready to cry.

He didn't think being late for their day to hang out merited all of this.

She pulled back and cast a healing spell on him before he could do anything other than spit out random words that might have been part of an apology if you re-arranged them and removed all of the sounds of pain.

"You had me worried! I was only a few minutes away from blasting down your door." Her voice was reproachful, and she was just barely sniffling.

Sora cringed, remembering the last time she'd used her magic to blast open a pathway and how big the hole had been. He didn't think his renter's deposit would have covered that. He needed to start apologizing before she decided to stop healing him and blast him apart instead.

"Gee Kairi I really didn't mean to be late. See I was working on these… I got distracted… and those e-mails, you know, and I was late and I'm really really sorry and I didn't mean to make you cry or mess up your hair and…" He said all of that in one breath, too fast for anyone who didn't know him to understand.

"No, no, no, stupid," she said, smacking him on the side of the head _lightly_ this time. She paused for a moment and bit her lower lip. Everything about her was screaming _really upset_, the kind of upset that only happens when the world's getting ready to end, and he'd just woken up and been assaulted and couldn't understand all of this.

"What's going on?"

"It's Demyx and Marluxia. They're missing."

He didn't like Kairi's co-worker or her boss very much, but apparently she liked them a lot more than he realized, to be this upset. "Did they not show up for work or something? Maybe they just overslept." He tried to put his hands on her shoulders to comfort her, but she pushed them away and looked directly at his eyes.

"You don't understand. Marluxia and Demyx were both attacked in their apartments. They're both a mess; you can tell there was a fight. Marluxia is strong, and they're saying that the only one who could have subdued him before anyone realized what was going on is _you_. The police think you're their prime suspect for all of the recent kidnappings. I came here to warn you."

Sora's face took on a vacant expression as he tried to process more bad news than anyone should have to deal with five minutes after waking up.

He hated it when he overslept.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Author's Notes: I have a buffer of a few chapters already written, so I'll try to keep future updates fairly regular.

* * *

Kairi knew Sora was going to be useless for the next fifteen minutes, even if he was pacing around his living room and asking Tron to tell the police that he hadn't left the apartment all night. He'd lost the ability to become completely _there_ at a moment's notice when coffee shops introduced him to the wonders of caffeine by giving him whipped cream and extra sprinkles. Someone saying, "You're going to be arrested," wasn't enough to get him thinking properly; he was used to people waking him up by yelling, "If you don't get out here, a giant slug-thing is going to EAT THE WORLD!" She'd have to do the thinking for him.

"Come on, Sora, we have to get out of here." She grabbed his arm to get his attention back, and his blinking made it clear that he was struggling to manage full alertness.

"Won't that make me look really guilty?"

She was getting exasperated; she had to deal with him not _getting_ it on top of losing a co-worker who was her friend and another who was almost a friend, as much as a psychopath with a superiority complex could manage to be a friend.

"You know what the police are like. They'll put you somewhere that doesn't have a lock and never let you out again." She started dragging him to the door, and he tried to keep up while having to walk sideways. She was strong enough that he'd have to make an effort to get her off, and he wouldn't have that kind of fight with Kairi.

"We can go to the King and get him to tell them that you're not a suspect," she said, as they were almost at the entrance hall. Before she could continue explaining her plan, though, something happened that made the whole plan fall apart.

Green flames engulfed the door in a split-second, and then it was blasted off its hinges, barely missing Kairi. Where the door had been now stood the person she had wanted to avoid: World Police Chief Maleficent, accompanied by her deputy, Pete.

* * *

Sora was alone in a room in the local police headquarters. It had a table and two chairs, and he'd been told to it in one. He hadn't been willing to resist arrest once he'd been caught. He supported the new government because its laws were fair, even if they did wind him up in jail.

He'd supported Maleficent's appointment as World Police Chief, too. With the darkness gone from her heart, she wasn't _evil_ anymore—just really mean. She wouldn't have been satisfied unless she got to boss someone around, and everyone could keep an eye on her this way. Most crimes were minor now anyway. It wasn't the end of the world if she liked to use her magic to give parking tickets to moving cars.

He knew she had to have some rooms at her main headquarters that could hold him for as long as she wanted, and he still wasn't her favorite person. Kairi thought she'd bend her own rules to give him a hard time.

The door opened, and Maleficent swooped into the room, in that way she had of moving like she didn't lift her feet. He thought she might have roller-skates on under her robes. Pete followed behind her and closed the door.

Sora started to stand up, saying, "I didn't do it. You _know_ I didn't do it and I don't know why you're arresting me when…"

"Silence!" The way her voice resounded so loudly startled him enough to make him sit back down. She lifted her arms as she continued, "You may have defeated me eleven times, boy, but you won't defeat my polygraph test!" There was a flash of green flames, and then Sora had wires connecting him to a machine that had appeared on the table.

"Hey! What's with this thing?" he objected. He started to pull of one of the wires, but the second he touched it, it became surrounded in more of Maleficent's magic that burned his fingers. The flames disappeared when he jerked his hand back, and then Pete had his hands on the table, leaning toward Sora. Maleficent took a step back toward a corner of the room.

"Now, Pete's got some questions, see, and you're gonna answer 'em. This here machine's gonna start squealing if you lie, so you better tell he truth if you know what's good for you." Sora wanted to wipe Pete's spit off his face, but he didn't want Maleficent to hit him with more flames.

"I'll ask the first question," Maleficent said, her tone imperious. She was smiling slightly, pleased to be looking down on Sora in her domain. Pete moved back, and she continued, "That pink-haired simpleton is, by all accounts, a skilled fighter. The few others who might have been able to defeat were already under surveillance—all of those who might have overpowered him except for you. It is common knowledge that you are the one responsible for the previous demise of bother Marluxia and Demyx. Are we to believe another powerful warrior exists—unnoticed by all—snatching away your old enemies by chance, when you have both the capacity to commit this crime and any number of possible motives to do so?"

Sora wanted to respond to all of her points at once, because they were all ridiculous, and he couldn't believe she was twisting it all like that. He was talking quickly, annoyed because she knew how stupid all of that was. He gestured wildly as he said, "I don't even remember defeating Marluxia, and he could have been taken by surprise, and I wanted the worlds to bring all of them back, so I wouldn't go around attacking them or kidnapping them when all they're doing is making _cheeseburgers_!"

"Ah, so you don't remember your first altercation with Marluxia." She seemed to pleased about that statement, and there was no reason for her to get stuck on.

"You know that! Everyone knows that. There was a _movie_ about it, and the actor made me look chubby, and you were at the premiere!" He didn't know why she was picking on him. They'd almost started getting along even before all of the darkness had left her heart. Sure, they'd still had to ruin each other's plans a lot, and he'd defeated her more than a few times. She never stayed dead, though, so she shouldn't have taken it personally. Hades didn't want her in his Underworld.

She nodded to Pete instead of responding to Sora, and he moved forward again. In a tone that suggested that he believed his question was very clever, he asked, "Where were you last night?"

Sora was starting to feel hopeless. At least Maleficent was smart, but trying to explain anything to Pete was like Riku trying to explain nihilist meta-ethics to him. "I was at my apartment, where you found me. Tron can tell you I was there all night."

Pete scratched his chin, as if in deep thought. "Tron? Ain't he part of that there computer program what pansies use instead of MicroSark?"

"Hey! Tron's my friend. He's better than any program Sark runs," Sora replied, offended.

"Oh, that's right. He's your friend, and you even do endorsements for his software. Wouldn't be a bit surprising if a friend like were to for you, to keep you out of jail and still promoting their product and all."

"What?" Sora's first word of protest almost came out as a squawk. "Tron doesn't _have_ to lie for me, because I didn't do it!"

"Can anyone who's not a computer program what can be re-programmed say you weren't out last night doin' some kidnapping?"

"I was in my apartment all night, with Tron, sending e-mails. Your machine isn't going off, so you _know_ I'm not lying." He was getting more petulant because these were bogus charges and he hadn't had his latte with rainbow sprinkles yet.

Maleficent spoke up, "Do we? You've already admitted that you have problems with your memory. That machine cannot detect lies if the person believes what they are saying, and you admit that you _forgot_ when you attacked Marluxia once before. A judge might find that very troubling. This is one time when your celebrity might work against you."

Sora didn't like the sound of that. Even though it didn't make sense, it still sounded bad. "I..," he started to say, before she interrupted him.

"However, I am inclined to give you the benefit of the doubt. Even if you are insolent brat, we have been on almost friendly terms in the past, and that should mean something, after all. For now, you are free to go." She waved her hands, and the machine and wires disappeared.

He could feel his brain breaking, and he wore a look of utter confusion as he asked, "Why did you arrest me like that if you're being friendly?"

She shrugged and replied, "I was simply doing my job. I would have been remiss had I not questioned such an obvious suspect." She gave him a small smile that almost seemed kind, and that scared him more than all the times she turned into a dragon and tried to bite his head off. He didn't waste any time getting out of his chair and pushing past Pete to the door. When he reached for the handle, she added, "You understand, of course, that if our investigation does not reveal any other suspects, then I will have to reconsider my latitude."

He understood now. She was letting him go because she knew he didn't do it, but she'd arrest him again if she needed someone to pin it on later. He really needed his latte.

* * *

He came out of the interrogation room and found Kairi waving her toy scepter and talking sternly to all of the police officers unfortunate enough to be in the main room of the station. "And you should be ashamed of yourselves. Look at that," she said, pointing the scepter menacingly at one officer. "You've been eating a bagel while kidnappers are out on the street, and my friend is being charged with a crime he didn't commit. Why aren't you out there investigating or doing something to free Sora?"

They all looked abashed, even the secretary and the guy in handcuffs. She was using the tone of voice that always made you feel like she was the favorite sister you never wanted to disappoint, except right now she was the favorite sister who's wearing a princess costume and looks like she just got out of a fight that she probably won.

"Kairi," he said, as he came up behind her and touched her shoulder. She turned around quickly, and he had to duck to keep from getting his head bashed by her scepter, and then she was hugging him awkwardly with his face pressed into her stomach. He tried to tell her that he couldn't breathe through her abdomen, and it only took a few seconds for her to realize that the muffled sounds coming from him meant that she needed to let go.

He inhaled as he straightened up and found himself on the receiving end of a gentle, relieved smile. He could feel everyone around him being envious and wondering why he got off lightly. The part of him that would always have the maturity of a 14-year-old felt like saying, "Yeah, Kairi likes me better than you, so take that!" He settled for smiling smugly, the stress of the past two hours fading momentarily.

"Are they letting you go?" she asked, a faint flash behind the kind look in her eyes suggesting that she was prepared to do something if they weren't.

"Yeah, I'm not being arrested after all," he replied, leaning back with his hands behind his head. "Lets go get some coffee." He lowered his arms and headed toward the exit. She fell in step with him, her smile a little less tight.

They had almost reached fresh air when turned back around to say, "Thanks, everyone!" She waved and then pushed through door with Sora.

Outside, they turned left and started walking through the crowd on the sidewalk. Her expression turned quiet for a few minutes, and Sora's face was scrunched up as he tried to sort through disjointed thoughts.

They reached the coffee shop after a few minutes. You could walk in any direction in downtown Radiant Garden these days and find one eventually. Sora had tested that theory several times, and it had only backfired once. (It hadn't looked like an apartment, and he didn't know people did _that_ in their living room in the middle of the day.)

Inside, most of the customers were looking at them while they were in line. This wasn't his usual place, so no one was used to seeing them there. It could have been how they looked, not who they were, that was drawing everyone's attention, though. He still hadn't showered or changed clothes from yesterday. Kairi had realized that she needed to call Riku back and pulled her phone from some hidden pocket in her dress. She'd told him to head to the police station while Sora was being questioned, and she was giving him directions to the coffee shop now.

Sora finished paying as she hung up, so he went to grab napkins, spoons, and sugar packets while she waited for their drinks. Five minutes of coffee artistry later, and they were at a table with Kairi adding one sugar packet to her vanilla latte and Sora adding four to his caramel cappuccino with whipped cream. He told her everything that had happened in the interrogation room, and it was understood that they were saving everything else until Riku arrived.

Sora was gulping down the last of his coffee when Riku entered and weaved his way toward them, ignoring manners and jostling anyone who was blocking his way. He raised an eyebrow and asked, "So what happened?" as he pulled out a chair and sat down, dropping his bag beside him. He looked ridiculously _groomed_ compared to the two of them, and he said that in the way that meant he already knew most of what was going on but wanted you to tell him anyway.

Kairi started talking before Sora could, directing a small smile to Riku and saying, "It's Marluxia and Demyx. They were attacked in their apartments and now they're missing."

"It's on the news," Riku said, pulling a bottle of water out of his bag and opening it up to take a drink.

"Did they…" Sora began.

Riku shook his head. "You're not on it."

Kairi continued, "We only had one party today, and then I was free for the rest of the day, but it was locked when I got there this morning. Marluxia lives in the building behind it, so I decided to go straight there instead of trying to call. The police were already there, even Maleficent and Pete."

"Someone must have called it in early," Riku added. World Police Chief Maleficent and her deputy didn't work out of the Radiant Garden division; it would have taken time for them to get here, even by Gummi Ship.

"Maybe someone heard it happening?" Sora ventured.

"No, I heard them talking. They were telling Maleficent what was going on while they questioned me. No one heard anything. The landlord called it in; the door was wide open and the furniture and walls were all cut up. He must have fought back. They said there wasn't much blood." Her voice was uneven for the last few words, and she knew Sora and Riku got the message: she was worried about them, and she wanted to do something. "They said Demyx had been taken too, and then I heard them talking about Sora, so I ran off to warn him while they weren't looking."

Sora reached out to hold her hand and gave her the _we're going to fix this_ smile he hadn't been able to use in years. Riku recognized it and frowned. Sora didn't want him stopping his plan before he got it out to show them how great it was, so he spoke quickly. "Maleficent's going to arrest me again if she can't find out who really did it, and she's right it has to be someone strong, isn't she?" He looked at Riku. "If it's the same kidnapper, then it's getting _serious_, and these are Kairi's friends, so it is our business!"

Riku rolled his eyes at all the people who were openly watching Sora, getting caught up in his little speech. He'd regret this in five minutes, but he asked, "What are you proposing?"

"We're going to go on an adventure and save them all!"

One of the customers yelled, "Go, Sora!" and Riku hated Jiminy for the books and the movies and the tv miniseries and the t-shirts and the theme park and _especially_ the dolls.

Kairi met his eyes, and he knew she was for it, whatever _it_ was. He'd argue the details later. For now, he was going to throw out a lame objection or two to see if Sora's brain was even turned on. "I've got school."

Sora grinned smugly. "You're just working on your big paper. You can use my laptop since you've only got a desktop, and Tron might even help you do your research if you ask nicely."

So he at least had a couple of brain cells on. Whatever. Kairi cared, and Sora was right about the powerful part. He remembered what it had felt like when Sora had defeated Marluxia in Castle Oblivion; he'd felt the resulting void from the basement. He'd call King Mickey and get his advice later. He acquiesced, "I'll talk to my professor."

A girl behind him yelled, "Go, Riku!" and he thought that maybe some of the t-shirts weren't so bad. When the guy at the cash register added a, "Go, Kairi!" they all started laughing, and you wouldn't have been able to tell that they were all caught up in serious thoughts if you didn't know them.

* * *

Sora walked up the stairs to his apartment and saw a piece of paper right in the middle of where his door wasn't. He recognized the handwriting as his building manager's.

Take this damn thing down and I'll put your door back.

He realized what was going on and pulled the note down. It had been stuck to a magical barrier with a piece of tape. Kairi must have put the spell up before she followed him to the station.

It had to be a conditional barrier spell, and she hadn't thought to tell him how to take it down. He was so bad at this kind of magic that Merlin had given up on teaching him. It could take hours to break it down with the keyblade, and he didn't feel like asking to borrow a neighbor's phone. (His cell phone stayed turned off in his sock drawer.) He had to think.

In a few moments he realized what it _had _to be. It was so obvious that he laughed and said, "Sora, you idiot," out loud. The barrier flashed and disappeared, and then he was yelling at where the spell had been. "HEY! That wasn't supposed to be it!"

After berating his doorframe, he went inside and called the manager. Then he grabbed a few sticks of celery out of the fridge for dinner—penance for the ice cream and the extra sugar in the coffee. He stood in the kitchen while he finished those, and then he headed to the bathroom for a shower. He didn't think anyone would try to rob him before Grumpy got there to fix the door.

* * *

Kairi had confirmed that Maleficent had ordered both crime scenes sealed off, and they didn't need to give her an excuse to arrest any of them. She was going to head back to the police station to talk one of her new officer friends into giving her a copy of the reports.

Riku had to convince his advisor that his independent study could be done away from school. After that, he was going to go shopping for supplies. All of the other kidnappings had occurred outside of Radiant Garden; this was the first time two had happened in the same place. Investigating the places where the people had been taken was their only lead unless Kairi found something in the reports.

Sora had several things to, and the first was to convince his agent to convince his producer to let him go on leave for an unspecified amount of time. He called Jiminy's cell phone, got a busy signal, and hung up. He'd get a call back in 3… 2… 1.

"Heya, Sora."

"Hey, Jiminy. I've got a favor to ask."

"You just name it."

Here it came. "I need to take a break from the show and cancel all my other work."

"Is everything okay?" He sounded concerned, and then Sora felt bad for thinking he'd be unreasonable. Jiminy was his friend, even if he was demanding as an agent.

"Have you heard about all of the kidnappings?'

"Yeah, it's been all over the news. Are you gonna try to do something about it?"

He forgot that Jiminy knew him almost as well as anyone. "Yeah, we're planning on track down the bad guys and rescuing everyone who was taken."

"Count me in."

"What?" Jiminy was busier than anyone with his talent agency.

"If you're going on an adventure, then I'm gonna help anyway I can. Don't you worry about the producer; leave all that to me."

Sora's smile was audible when he said, "Thanks, Jiminy. I'll e-mail you when we've got more worked out."

"We'll get 'em back, Sora."

Jiminy hung up, and Sora was more excited than he'd been in ages. This all felt _right_.

He dialed Axel's number, and he was transferred to his voice mail. He tried to say it all in one breath so it wouldn't cut him off. "Axel, this is Sora. You've heard about Marluxia and Demyx? We're going to get them back and everyone else too, and you should come along if you want. I'll e-mail you with…" Beep.

He put the phone down. He wasn't sure if Axel would go. He did the stage-hand job for the night shows, but Sora didn't think he'd care about giving that up. Sora could probably even get it back for him later, if he did want it. It was whatever he did during the day that might be a problem. He was secretive about it, and Roxas told him that you had to let Axel have some secrets or he got bitchy, so Sora didn't try to find out.

The phone rang, and Sora picked up. "Axel?"

"The one and only." There was some kind of noise in the background, like lots of people yelling.

"You got my…"

"I'm in."

"That's great! I'll e-mail you with…"

There was a crashing sound on Axel's end. He said, "Crap, gotta go," and hung up.

A lot of Sora's phone conversations with Axel went like that, so he didn't worry about it. He moved on to the computer.

It took a minute to start up, and then Tron was there, sounding worried. "Are you okay, Sora? I heard everything earlier, but you're here, so that's good."

Smiling, Sora said, "I'm fine, Tron. Maleficent let me go, and now we're going to track down the real kidnapper."

Tron smiled back as he replied, "Excellent. All of my resources are at your disposal."

"I need to talk to Donald and Goofy."

Text flashed behind Tron on the screen. "Establishing connection with Disney Castle now. I'll see if they're available."

The screen went black, and Sora waited. A minute later, the image returned, displaying a live video feed of his friends. The camera was adjusted for someone Goofy's height, so he could only see the top of Donald's head.

"Hiya, Sora," Goofy greeted, waving.

Donald jumped into the air so he could be seen and yelled, "Hello!" at the camera, before dropping back down to the ground again.

"Hey guys." Sora realized that he hadn't talked to them in months, and he couldn't contain his grin.

"Is somethin' wrong? Tron said it was kinda urgent," Goofy asked.

Still jumping in and out of view, Donald added, "Yeah, what's up?"

He didn't need to bother with an explanation with these two. "Are you guys up for an adventure?"

"Well, o' course you know we're always with you. When do you wanna leave?" Goofy asked.

"Will I get to set someone on fire?" was Donald's question.

Laughing, Sora said, "You might get to, Donald, and we need to leave as soon as possible."

Goofy scratched his head like he was thinking before saying, "Well, you know we're members o' Parliament now. We got a lot o' responsibilities now."

Donald made a face that suggested he didn't think much of those responsibilities as he passed in and out of view.

"We got a big debate comin' up about the regulations for the sale o' pottery, and we gotta discuss what we think, and everyone is gonna want to use most o' their talkin' time, so it's gonna take… let's see," Goofy continued, counting his fingers to come up with the answer.

Donald's pupils had started dilating as he thought about the pottery discussion, and he was still jumping up and down so he could see Sora on the screen.

"And six carry the eleven and…" Goofy finally reached the answer. "We should be done with the pottery debate in about six days, Sora."

Eyes widening even more in horror, Donald leapt this time at Goofy, hitting him on the head with his staff. Standing on top of his friend's slumped shoulders, he brought his face close to the camera and yelled, "We'll be there tomorrow!" before pushing button to terminate the connection.

Sora really missed them.

Tron reappeared, trying to suppress a chuckle. "What's next?"

"I need to send an e-mail to Riku, Kairi, Axel, and Jiminy." The window appeared, and Sora started typing.

Donald and Goofy will be here tomorrow. Don't know what time but they can find us. Let's meet outside the circus.

-Sora

"Okay, ready to send."

"Confirmed," Tron said as he came back to the front of the screen. "Is that everything?"

"No, one more e-mail." The blank window appeared.

Roxas

Riku, Kairi, Axel, and I are going on a road trip.

Maybe we'll come see one of your competitions before Agrabah.

-Sora

He didn't mention Goofy, Donald, or Jiminy because then Roxas would know that something was up. He'd worked really hard to get all of these skateboarding competitions set up, and Sora didn't want him to drop it all to come rushing back to help.

"Send it."

"Confirmed."

"Thanks, Tron. Let's get some rest. Tomorrow's gonna be a big day."

"Preparing to enter standby mode. Good night, Sora."

Sora left Tron on the table and went to sleep in his own bed—with his alarm clock turned on.

* * *

Pete was maneuvering their Gummi Ship to prepare for landing at Headquarters when he brought up something that had been on his mind all day. "Say, Maleficent, you know, you couldn't tell nothin' about the attack 'cause Marluxia done slashed up everything in his apartment tryin' to defend himself, but Demyx's place wasn't so messed up. The only cuts on stuff there looked like they were too thin to have come from a keyblade. You don't really think Sora did it, do you?"

Looking down on her deputy with disgust, Maleficent answered, "Of course not, you fool. That should have been obvious."

"Well, I was only askin'," Pete responded glumly.

"There is something unusual lingering at the edge of my senses, but I cannot put my finger upon it. Unfortunately, he is more competent than any of my underlings. I would devote my full attention to the matter if it were not for my other duties, but spurring him to action will have to suffice."

Pete was focused on landing and trying to figure out if she meant to say he was less competent than that brat, so he didn't put much thought into the rest.

As she stepped out of the craft, Maleficent said, "Come, Pete, we have some parking tickets to distribute."


End file.
